Life’s Lessons from Movies : Dil Dhadakne Do

The movie has been directed by very talented Zoya Akhtar.

The main cast includes Anil Kapoor, Shefali Shah, Ranveer Singh, Priyanka Chopra, Anuskha Sharma, Rahul Bose, Zarina Wahab and Farhan Akhtar.

Anil Kapoor plays Kamal Mehra, the main family patriarch and Shefali Shah is his wife, Neelam Mehra.  Ranveer Singh plays Kabeer Mehra and Priyanka Chopra characterises Ayesha Sangha, being the son and daughter respectively.  Ayesha is married to Rahul Bose who plays Manav Sangha.  Farhan Akhtar plays Sunny Gill.

The movie is set on a cruise ship on which Kamal Mehra is hosting his business associates, family and friends for his 30th wedding anniversary.  The marriage is mostly dysfunctional.  Kamal Mehra’s business is in the red and is a cause of financial stress for him.  His company AYKA, abbreviated for Ayesha and Kabeer owns a aircraft which is Kabeer’s passion.  Kabeer wants to fly and is not interested in the business activity.

On the cruise, Kabeer meets Farha Ali, a performer.  They have an affair going and are happy with each other.  But things turn turtle and there is a lot of misunderstanding.

Ayesha at some point of time confides in her parents that she wants to divorce and Kamal Mehra, being the Punjabi that he is, repulses at the very idea.  He says that “whatever he has done is for her own good”.  Sunny boards at the cruise at one port of call.  Sunny and Ayesha have been childhood friends and Ayesha wanted to marry him but Kamal Mehra sponsors Sunny’s higher education and sends him out of the country so that he can get Ayesha married into a well-settled family.

There is family confrontation between the Mehra’s and Sangha.  Manav forces Ayesha to leave the cruise with him and physically mishandles him.  Kamal Mehra cannot take it after a point of time and warns him about assaulting Ayesha and asks Manav and his mother to leave the ship.

Kabeer takes charge of the situation and spells out the beans - the hard facts that nobody wants to discuss.  He tells the family that he is not interested in managing the company and it should be given to someone who is competent to lead the charge, i.e. Ayesha.  All he wants to do is to fly in the skies and live his life.

Meanwhile, Farha is dismissed by the cruise company for not complying with the Company’s rules.  Kabeer tries to tell the ship crew to turn back and allow him to leave the ship.  Ultimately, he jumps off the ship but not before taking his father into confidence - "will you be my lifeboat?" Kamal Mehra, Neelam and Ayesha board a lifeboat to pick him out at sea.  Kabeer is rescued by them and this is a bonding moment for the four of them.

Key Lessons from my perspective:
1.    Parents should not force their decisions upon their children.  They should consult them as to their goals, aspirations and what they want to do in life.
2.    Forcing them to marry someone not of their choice ends up making everyone unhappy.
3.    Being unhappy in marriage causes mental stress, pain and agony.
4.    Parents should be open to discussion about their children’s problems, miseries and have an open channel for communication, allowing them to freely air their feelings, frustrations, anxieties and anguishes.
5.    A daughter should continue to enjoy her rights as part of her own family.  Getting her married off does not end the parent's responsibilities.  Parents should monitor the health of their children's marital relationships.  A lot of cues are available to quickly understand the status.
6.    The mother here is a socialite and prefers to push the problems under the carpet for the fear of society.  She does not want to be caught on the wrong foot.
7.    The mother does not care to listen to her daughter and give her private time to understand what she wants to express.
8.    When a girl’s parents, even if they are highly educated and belong to high society, surrender to their daughter's in-laws, they give a message that her in-laws can do whatever they think is right, even if it is physical or mental harrassement.   Such behaviour gives confidence to in-laws that anything will be tolerated.
9.    You can have affection for any person irrespective of their religion or profession.
10.    Right person for the Right Job is beautifully highlighted here.
11.    It is important to recognise where your true love is.  One can only be happy in a harmonious relationship, with someone you can share a bonding, share your feelings and be comfortable with.
12.    Keep your conscience alive.  The moment it ceases to provoke you, push you is akin to being dead – without emotions, with affection.